You might be in Med School if...

You blame neurotransmitters for anything going wrong in your life.

You can have a conversation about the abscess you drained today while eating cream of broccoli soup without any problem at all. Or for that matter, over any kind of meal.

You have named a dead person and talked to them about your stresses while finding their lumbar plexus.

You know that specialties are pre-defined by personality type.

The drama in your life now is worse than it ever was in high school.

You can name the four people in your class who are the question-asker, the arguer, the bigshot doctor's son/daughter and the stoner/alkie/druggie who's never IN class.

You know countless dirty mnemonics for parts of the body, but couldn't tell anyone what the front-page headline today is.

You consistently tell people that they just don't understand how bad it really is.

You don't bother dating because the divorce rate is 70% for physicians.

You constantly find yourself saying things like "I just have to get to spring break" or "I just have to get through Step 1."

You question every day if you should drop out and open a coffee shop, then realize that as soon as you were two semesters into med school, you were too far in debt to be anything but a doctor.

People assume you know something when you tell them you're in med school, but you know that you haven't learned anything.

You've dissected a penis and can explain the way Viagra works.

People constantly ask what med school is like, and all you can think of to say is "It really sucks."

You've never had problems before, but 6 months into med school you're on birth control, an anti-depressant, an anxiolytic and sleep medication.

A "study group" is you, your syllabus, and your red bull.

You're still excited to see "real patients."

You're pretty sure you used to be a normal social person, but now you can completely stop conversations by talking about the time that guy pissed and bled all over you during a code.

You speak only in acronyms and abbreviations; HIV, CMV, USMLE, Dx, Px.

Advisors tell you that you have to balance your life with med school, and then are baffled when you ask them how to do it.

You're really frightened by the thought of some of your classmates becoming doctors.

You go a week without sleeping with no problem at all.

Grey's Anatomy, House, Scrubs, Dr. 90210, Nip/Tuck and ER are your favorite shows, but you point out all the wrong things in them all the time.

You have diagnosed yourself or others with at least 5 rare diseases (PML, Kaposi's sarcoma, Measles, Rheumatic Heart Disease, etc.)

You've been squirted by all manner of body fluids and don't even flinch anymore.

If female, you've been asked at least 25 times when you'll be a nurse.

A patient has threatened to kill you.

You've gotten astonishingly good at dodging punches from delirious patients.

You become an expert at how to look busy and do nothing.

You've realized that the ideal answer to the question "where will you be in 10 years" is "skiing in tahoe or tanning in oahu"

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In celebration of me going back to med school tomorrow I posted these. I found them in a group of Facebook which has the same name and i copypasted those that apply to myself :)