When life gives you lemons, you can't always make lemonade...

Today I went to the bank to figure out how in the world I should finance my tutionfees. And guess what? KELA is only getting me about 4400€ per year for a loan, that leaves me about 3000€ short on the first two years of school. Per year that is. So great. It's always about the money baby! I really need to come up with some solution, this is kind of freaking me out, going to Estonia, a couple of thousand euros short, at least the Springsemester. And I don't really know if taking a "real" loan is an option, since there are some high procentages you have to pay of in the mean time until you start paying back your loan. If anyone has any suggestions, feel free to inform me!

As if that wouldn't be enough, I also still have to buy a new laptop. But there is some hope with insurance. I'll keep my fingers crossed that at least that would fix itself...

I also had my last day of work yesterday, and it was real good too. Every patient seemed very pleased and nice (or was it just me being happy to get some vacation..?). I really liked that place, working in a hospital with all kinds of people, both nurses and patients. Some of them I'll probably never forget, and I made some nice friends too :) Tomorrow I will actually go and watch that new Johnny Depp movie Public Enemies with one of my former collegues. Hope it's good!

A couple of things are checked on my to-do list before leaving, which is also great. Amongst them are planning my leave and packing days the last weekend in August. Mom is gonna come with me to Tartu, and that I am truely grateful for. I won't be stranded there until 30th August all alone. Just hope we'll get most of my stuff there the two of us :P My books will have to wait ;)

The first reactions I get when I tell people where I will be next semester is

-So why don't you just study in Finland? (Well, just let me bang into your head how hard it is, getting in to med-school here...)

-Wow, that's like really far away, aren't you afraid? (Haha, no not at all, it just scares the shit out of me knowing absolutly no one and not speaking the language. But nah, no biggie)

-Who else is going with you? (Oh my whole family and all of my friends! They're so excited! Uhm no, well I am going all by myself. )

And the list goes on.

So let me explain some other useful things.

The first two years will be in English. That's why these years are the most expensive if you look at the tutionfees. During these years we will take intensive courses in Estonian, so that we're ready to switch from English to Estonian as a study-language year three.
Finnish students are allowed to make their internships in Finland, which minimazes the gap when you take the leap into working in your homecountry.

The costs of living there are quite minimal compared to Finland. Living, eating and entertainment is much more inexpensive. But because of diffrent standards in for example aparments it's good to take a look at them before you jump to a conclusion which one to rent. That's why I'm staying at a student's dorm at first, even though it means sharing ONE room with another girl.

And yes I know no one there, and I am really scared of moving to a country I know almost nothing about and that I have never visited. But at least there is a branch there, so I will hopefully get to know some people in church there.

The things that I am most regretful of by moving there is that I probably will end up marrying some Estonian boy. I really would prefer to have one from Scandinavia! And then there is the part of not seeing my superduper family and friends... It is after all 6 years!

But then I also know how it is to study something that you don't want to be, and having a dream that is knocking on your consious every day. So i decided that even though everything is rough about this move, I just have to follow my dream. Because if I don't catch it now, I thing I will regret it for the rest of my life. And I thing this dream is worth the sacrifies I and also people around me are ready to make.

I just have to dig up some excitement so that this whole thing would feel good all of the time. Or at least 90% of the time. So I will be busy looking for that same excitement people around me seem to have about all this. Probably that WILL be a whole-time job ;)